Aug 28, 2009

Everything Has Meaning In Life, Bull.

Today I am making a declaration of war as a foreign enemy has invaded my country and space. Therefore the time has come to strengthen my boarders and detain those I capture during this serge. Unfortunately for the United Nations I will be using torture techniques as well as chemical warfare. If the insurgents continue to attack my kingdom I will immediately upscale my efforts to Weapons of Mass Destruction. This declaration takes affect starting as of 06:00 on the 28Th of August.

The enemy in question you ask? Ants. Those small, sneaky, biting ants that have invaded and taken over. Apparently they are looking to acquire my dog food and bite me out of spite. Well, after conversing with my chiefs of staff this morning, the order was given to eliminate the enemy at all costs. We might lose a few bits of kibble and as with all battles there might be some casualties. But we will persevere until victory is mine. So far the actual number of dead ants is still unknown but the estimate is well into the hundreds. Unfortunately my chief of staff, Tracker, is unavailable at this time for comment. For those of you from PETA that want to discuss the terms of surrender for the prisoners you can forward your request to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

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