New fundraising movement to help me.

Please check out this link to see where I have been and what is next for me.

Day 1 of the juice detox

I have watched the movie "Fat, Sick & NearlyDead" many times. The idea of losing weight and cleaning out the body with just juice is very compelling.  Of course the commitment is truly the issue, I mean it’s sixty days.  That is a horrific amount of time to drink water and fresh veggie/fruit juice.  But the hour is upon me to change something not only in my life but within myself.  A clean, fresh start at the life I could have verses this garbage filled life I have accepted for myself. 

So today is the first day of sixty and you get to hear about all of it.  The flavor of the juice does not bother me.  The process of making the juice is just about as easy as any meal prep can be.  The hardest part will be keeping with it for the entire time and stay active to keep my spirits in it until the end. 

The money mountain

Raising money for a film (when you are not Scorsese) seems to be a huge mountain to climb.  It takes marketing, salesmanship, and a trust of strangers that is almost impossible to generate.  Writing posts or updates to try to encourage generous souls is a tough gig.  The vision of the project is solid, the talent being considered is solid, and the desire for success is huge.  As a whole, this film would be something special if it had the chance to be completed. 

The problem is that October is drawing closer and closer without the needed funds in place.  Money makes the difference, unfortunately.  My budget is laid out to the penny.  It allows for the talent and crew to be taken care of as it should be.  They work hard and should be compensated for their work.  For me, the pay is in the project itself.  The finished film is my paycheck and any audience response is just a Christmas bonus. 

I have not posted any video or picture updates because I hate my appearance on screen and there are not any production photos to be released yet.  So please hold that against me and not the project. 

Take a moment of your time to review the premise of the project and see if you can find a few dollars to contribute. 

As always, I thank you for your time.

Movie Update

I am very pleased to announce that Bella Lune has come on board to score the movie Lady.  I could not be happier about them joining us in this endeavor.  With music deep rooted with multiple influences it will be very exciting to hear the soundtrack. 

For those of you not familiar with their work please take a moment to visit them at http://bellalune.net.  Take time to listen and send them a shout out for their support to this project.

This is a great piece to the puzzle.  Music can make or break a film in so many ways and Bella Lune is strong enough to take us to that next level. 

Genie Film Contest to help pay the bills

I have decided to enter a film competition to help pay the expenses of the short film.  The risks are that it is a lot of time for the hope and dream of winning.  Lucky for me, dad has agreed to help star in the picture and I think it will be a great little 90-second clip.  It will be entertaining if nothing else.  When the completed film posts I will be sure to let everyone know. 

This is just the first of several competition plans to submit.  The exposure will be good for me and the chance to help fund the big project is always priority one.

Script update

After a few minutes of reflection I did my first re-write today.  I added a scene of reflection for the main character.  It gives her a chance to take an out before she makes that final life altering decision.  I wanted the moral implications to play a bigger role in the film.  So I added what every good film should have, a priest, someone to ground the main character.  I do not know if it worked but it does offer that human interaction needed to make it more emotional for the end of the film.

It will really tie it together. 

Please add begging to a list of things that I am not good at doing.

It seems that trying to secure money for a film is sort of like digital panhandling.  I sit on the street with my little cardboard sign and wait.  I wait for someone, anyone to place a penny or two in my little coffee cup.  Now the lack of guitar or harmonica does hinder my appeal but you must work with what you have.  So I beg.

Of course, all of this done in a digital way, I post and pray that people will look at my project and feel compelled to join.  To hop on board to just a vision and a smile is a huge leap of faith.  Faith in a stranger is a tough sale.  A person has to be willing to purchase a product that is completely unknown until it is furnished. 

I wonder how many people would by a car from a new car company just because they claimed it would be cool.  My guess is that it would not be very many (as evidenced by the lack of funds raised thus far).  Nevertheless, I will not let go of my dream, I will just have to try harder. 

Movie update #1

The search continues for talent, money, locations, and just about every other thing you can think of for this movie.  I must have sent out 50 emails today to actors and actresses for the three roles in this short film.  I did have a few returns but the question is will the ones returning the emails be the right ones for the roles.  As the writer/director I have this vision of what the characters look like and how they will interact.  The truth is that they will never match that vision. 

Funding is the next big question.  I have set to secure any of the promise funding out there but I’m still very hopeful.  Indiegogo has been very wonderful for getting the word out and gaining exposure to various contributors.  I would like to lock down the lead role so that I may create the poster for the film.  The vision can be better realized and maybe spark some interest.

As it sits right now, we are 5 days into pre-production and at a small standstill.  I hope the rest of the week is more successful. 

Dad has been working hard on the steady cam rig and the tabletop dolly.  Both are looking very good.  I hope to get some test shots posted later this week.  I am currently using the Canon Elph 300 HS for my test footage.  It looks amazing for such a little camera.  The audio is amazing as well.  I hope the appearance is not a turn off for the talent but I may just use it for some of the principal photography. 

Locations may end up being as simple as a Motel 6 and my house.  It just depends on what I can find over the course of the next few months.  The dogs will make it very difficult to shoot here but beggars lack choosing.

Why not write/direct/produce a short film?

Because it takes a ton of cash.  So I signed up with Indiegogo.  Click the poster to see the site and possibly be a part of the fun of fundraising. 

Herpes meet the Republican Party

Now that I have your attention, let me explain that title a little bit.  Herpes is a horrible STD that likes to lull you into a false sense of security.  It hits you hard and fast, hurts like a mother, and then vanishes leaving you aw struck and semi-pissed.  Then, after an undetermined amount of time, it shows up again to give you the same experience all over again.  You cannot hide, run, or ignore it.  Herpes is always there waiting to add discomfort to your life.

Therefore, in comparison, I offer the Republican Party.  A group of men and women that cannot even choose a party leader let alone a direction for the country.  Mitt Romney is leading the nomination race simply out of confusion.  Newt Gingrich is only there to steal votes from Rick Santorum.  Rick Santorum’s only fault is that he is not old enough.  Is the best you have to offer?  These are the only individuals in the group strong enough to lead a charge against Obama?  A class president from BFE High could offer a serious challenge against the current administration and these bozos are your choice to represent you?

The only thing sadder than the economy, housing, fuel prices, unemployment, stock market, Afghanistan, Japan’s power plant meltdown, Jan Brewer, and Dharun Ravi is the offering of the Republicans.

Coke or Caffeine: Pick your poison.

People all over the world have addictions.  Those little things that make us feel better.  Things that help us escape our normal pathetic lives for just a few seconds.  It can be something as simple and pure as a book and a bath.  It can be as complex as a drug habit.  Addiction is never the true problem.  Addiction stems from other aspects of one’s life that needs comfort.

When you are a professional singer or athlete release comes from a great performance.  Hours of hard work and sacrifice for that one moment of bliss.  What happens when the crowd is gone?  What happens when the cheers stop?  That release needs fulfilled in some form.  Too bad for many it is often drugs.

Whitney Houston had fallen from grace one too many times.  Her last performance was unbearable to watch.  The once great pop star was now a cautionary tale of scandal.  A woman the demanded respect and emanated power found dead in a hotel like a common streetwalker.  Left in her wake was a tarnished career, broken marriage, and a bloated last-ditch performance of trash.

Now in all fairness the medical examiner’s report has yet to be release.  Years of abuse (both physical and mental) finally caught up to the Queen of Pop.  Death was her escape from a life that had left her years ago.

Addiction is a funny thing.  It can make you forget or feel better in a short time frame.  Ultimately you are still left with who you are and the problems in your life.  The question is will your addiction take what is left of that life away from you?

My addiction is coffee, good coffee.  I will probably have many health complications from this pick me up.  GI, Cardiac, and Endocrine complications when I am older brought on by the daily consumption.  It is my choice to do this evil to myself.  Nevertheless, damn it, it makes me feel good.

A little Christmas cheer

It is that time of year when we all reflect on the year past and look forward to the new year. I want to take this time to thank all of the supports of this blog for their commitment to reading this past year. May you and your family have a wonderful new year and may it be better than last year for you and yours. Until next year my friends. Happy Holidays

Top 5 things I could care less about

I do not want to rant about this list.  I do not want to draw more attention than deserved to the following list.  The fact that the media has focused their efforts on these five "stories" only proves one thing; Chaos.  Chaos has consumed us as a nation and the real struggles of America will never be as important as he person scandals of individuals being humans.  Making human mistakes that should never be this publicized in society.

The List:

Joe Paterno in a sex scandal.

Rick Perry making a mistake.

Kim Kardashian's wedding and divorce.

Herman Cain making sexual comments to a waitress.

Tiger Woods place in the latest golf tournament.

These five items make me want to run out into traffic.  Lets pull it together people and focus on the issues of the world that mean something. 

The death of customer service

We have become a society of push button dependence. It seems every organization has employed machines to answer calls, take your payment, and even notify you when services are available. So it is no wonder we are becoming disconnected as a culture. But who answers the phone when the service goes down?

I have been with the same cell phone provider for years. How long you ask? Well my first phone was a bag phone. That’s right, one of those tiny suitcase phones that were never popular. My loyalty has been tested over the years. Price increases, outages, and even fees for the latest phones that a new customers doe not have to pay have all made me question my commitment. Today however may be my breaking point.

I have text/called multiple times to reach someone, anyone. I have logged on to the website and tried to use the automated system. All of which have been unsuccessful in meeting my needs. Over an hour has passed and I’m still without resolution. In an era where the economy is shaky is this really the best time to be pissing off customers? Should my problem be addressed for the better of your company or just shoved under a rug somewhere? What is it that I need assistance with this fine morning? I’m trying to pay my bill.

Smoking Joe

Unless you were alive during the Vietnam War or a boxing fan, the name Joe Frazier means nothing. The man was a boxing legend, partly because of his bout with Ali but mainly due to his presence as a champion. His reign as the king of kings might have been short lived. His presence in the sport will always live on.


No one likes to hear when one of the greats passes. But even the best boxers will lose that final fight. Ultimately you will always go down for the count.

Joe Frazier embodied what a true boxer was, a fighter. Up to the bitter end he gave it is all to stand up to his last opponent. The Cancer may have won this one but only by a split decision.

Men's room etiquette

Many women will have to avert their eyes for this post. It addresses something that no cultured human being should ever deal with, the public restroom. A mans bathroom is generally an unclean place. It houses everything dirty you can imagine. Magazines, soap bars, toilet seats, and the floor are victim to filth. That is just the home bath. Take for a moment to think about the public men's facilities.

Urine covered seats, wet floors, smeared walls, and a collection of distinct odors make for a horrific experience. I would rather suffer the embarrassment of defecating in my pants then touch a public stall. What can I do to educate my fellow man in public urination?

How about this little tip, sit. When your height to length ratio is greater than 2:1 please sit to pee. Do not attempt to lean over to make up the distance. Avoid the semi stand squat to bring the bowl into range. Simply turn around, sit down, and stand back up for a clean exchange. That way I do not have to hold my needs to wipe away the remainder of yours.

Know your audience

It an era highlighted with the election of an African American as President of the United States it would be wise to avoid anything racial in nature.  The mere implication of referring to the outside of an Oreo cookie could be cause for a public expression of regret.  Because though the war ended years ago, the battle for equality lives on.

Lately sports athletes are feeling it is time to experience again the old Jimmy the Greek days by watching closely for a slur.  The problem is that when you find yourself looking for equality you never realize when you have it.  People accepted into a niche tease each other.  It is usually in fun, taken with a laugh.  Not the case for Mr. StevieWilliams as his smart little quip about a former employer has made his life hell. 

Tiger Woods has spent a good portion of his career defending his race as being more black than Asian.  At times his fight has been to prove he is more Asian than black.  Mr. Williams was just acknowledging one of your choices, is that so wrong?

A hockey player, who seems to love Jay-Z, is also in boiling water for a Halloween costume.  A quick side note for all of those not acquainted with Halloween, it is for dressing up.  The one night of the year, you can be anyone you want.  Raffi Torres' wanted to be a black rap star.  The problem is he is white. 

Therefore, by the laws of racism, it is not allowable to dress up or portray an African American in any way.  Sorry, those are the rules.  So Wayans brothers owe me an apology forWhite Chicks, I will be monitoring my mail waiting for that letter.

Therefore, what it all boils down to is simple.  We will always be racists.  That black is not a color reference anymore.  Black is and will always be some sort of slam.  So for all of you coffee drinkers that take it straight you had better learn how to order your brew.  Because if I hear you say black, you will be on CNN before it cools.

Truth in commentary dies.

Many touchy, feely, liberal, bleeding hearts, pussy willow types will never understand the late great Andy Rooney.  His no nonsense approach to conveying a message deemed archaic thinking.  Being that open and honest frowned upon because it may hurt someone’s feelings.  The way he could insult you while making you question your belief was an awe-inspiring gift.  Andy never made any apologizes for being himself.  In many cases, he often joked publicly about being too critical at times.

Rooney, for those of us with a desire to annoy people for generations, will always be the “one.”  A critic for which all others will measure themselves, I hope that the questions in heaven are not to in-depth.  Some just do not take the cynicism that well.

Rest well old friend, we will be seeing you on You Tube. 

Wall Street "99%"

Sometimes the message delivered in a protest is lost.  The focus draws from the passion to the poo.  Waist, vandalism, and loitering making the headlines silence the word of the people.  When a protest turns into a hindrance, it removes the credibility of those involved.

The sit-ins happening throughout the country are a true testament to just one thing.  There are too many people unemployed.  To have the ability to sit for days on end should be the true message.  Instead of worrying about the arresting and removal of these people why, do we not offer them a position in one of the local establishments?  Two birds removed with one stone; crowds diminished and a new taxpayer in its place.

I truly understand the passion and frustration that the “99%” are feeling.  To make a difference they must register to vote and remove everyone that is currently in office.  Now that is a statement.

All-Hallows-Even

With Halloween just a few short hours away, I seem to be having a slight childhood flash back.  Plastic suffocating masks held together with a thin piece of elastic and two staples and homemade candy as far as the eye could see.  Streets filled with welcoming porches dimly lit and covered in pumpkins half melted from the flame being too large.  Cold breeze from the first snowfall that was more than likely going to start any minute made that thin superman costume a questionable choice.  The chaperone debate was always the same.  “Well I took him last year, you go.  I’ll pass out candy this year.”  Nevertheless, always someone at my side to make sure the boogieman did not get me.  It was truly a grand night for children everywhere.

It saddens me that those days are long gone for so many.  The homemade popcorn ball tossed out for fear it may contain a switchblade knife.  The costumes must go through FDA trials before approved for wear ensuring the highest level of safety.  Trick or treating is now only in areas pre-organized by officials with start and stop times.  My favorite of those would be the mall trick or treat.  At least it is indoors and climate controlled I guess. 

The days of the true feel for what Halloween has to offer are forever lost.  The hint of fear and mystery has given way to safety and security.  The eerie feeling of what lurks in the shadows replaced with commercialized prepackaged fun.  Congratulations Taliban, looks like you won another one.

Your poor multimillionaire

The typical median income in the United States is a little over $46,000.  If you’re fortunate enough to have two full time incomes it rises to just about $67,000 and some change.  This is the yearly wage you must live on prior to taxes.  It is all you have to raise your children.  After taxes it really leaves just about enough to keep the lights on, feed the family, and take to occasional trip.  Not really what I would call living in the lap of luxury. 

The typical median income for a professional athlete is $1,598,817.25.  Take a moment to look at that number.  I used the average yearly salaries of the top 8 sports and created that median number.  It would have been higher but women’s tennis and women’s golf are really not super lucrative.  This means that the average for athletes yields over a million and a half every year. 

I understand the purpose of the strike.  It was first utilized in the work place to correct horrible working conditions.  Meaning simply it gave people the right to stand up and defend themselves.  That is alright in my book.  I’m sure if CNN had footage of the pyramids being built it would show the occasional Norma Rae standing up for slave rights.  Of course those negotiations were probably quick and painful. 

The strike is easy to support when the fat cat boss is exploiting his work force to line his pockets.  I can stand behind those acts of justice.  But a professional athlete refusing to perform for the fans because they want more money is a little hard to understand.

People pay over 2% of their annual income to support you, the athlete, playing a sport.  Two percent of your annual income would pay what they do for a living.  Here’s a thought lets go back to roman times when you would compete to just stay alive.  Then maybe money would lose some of its zest.

To HOV or not to HOV.

I, much like many of you, drive to work each day. The morning and evening ritual of commuting sometimes leaves me staring at that ever famed HOV lane. A section of highway that is just off limits to most of us. This perfectly paved, always open lane seems to mock me in silent. "Hey don't you wish you had a hybrid or a friend," it whispers quietly.

As I sat there in traffic I was able to make one simple observation. Only a few straggler cars were actually in the HOV lane. In fact a few of those did not even have a second passenger. This made me wonder. Why can't we just open up the other lane to regular traffic? Oh sure, those with green bumper stickers are going to blast me for killing the environment. Bring it on. I'm sure those 20,000 pound trucks idling on the "express" way are pumping out leafy green vegetables. It would be interested if someone did a study on the amount of fuel consumption sitting in traffic. Just to see if the empty lane is bringing the Ozone back.

What defines a great writer?

I will never be one of the great writers of our time.  This little secret was let out of the bag by my many followers and a few “friends”.  It’s not from a lack of desire.  The fact is that some people on this earth are just not equipped for literary greatness.  But it made me wonder what the true measure of a writer is? 

Many authors are gauged by the number of best sellers they have.  Others gain recognition in having their works transformed into moving pictures.  And less we forget there is always that coveted New York best seller list.  To me, these things all seem unobtainable.  They are the Olympic medals of writing for events that I just cannot compete in.  But is it really an accurate measure of a great writer?

Andy Rooney has been writing for over 70 years.  Thirty-three of those with a little television show known as 60 minutes.  He spanned a career that will never truly be matched by the literary giants of our time.  King, Koontz, and Grisham (I couldn’t throw another K out) are all exceptional writers of their time.  Rooney can still out write them hands down at age 92.  With a heavy heart I say thank you for the commentary Mr. Rooney after all these years.  Rest easy knowing I will never interrupt your steak dinner.

Not even in death do they part.

A husbands love can be unmatched by any other in this crazy world.  He holds dear the love of a great woman.  A woman that completes his very being.  And no matter what she does he will always love her.  The husband in love will defend his wife in life and in death.

But there might a small flaw in that.  Diane Schuler, I'm sure, was a wonderful wife.  She made her husband very happy and proud everyday she was alive on this earth.  Who knows, she might have been the best thing that every happen to her husband.  As loving as this woman was certain behavior can never be ignored.  For instance, if you get high and drunk and load up your minivan with friends you may be at risk for losing mother of the year.  If you take that minivan and enter the wrong way on a Long Island Express way, killing seven people in the process, you definitely lose mother of the year.  Also you will lose your life as well. 

A good husband will defend his wife's behavior regardless of how stupid it may be.  But to sue the state for not marking the exit ramp as the wrong way seems a little much.  It is tragic that your wife died in such a terrible manner.  It is tragic that she killed other people with her stupidity.  It is not the fault of a state.  A state that would have never been able to protect your wife from herself.  Drunk, high, and stupid will always over come safety no matter what.

Power will get you laid

Sex scandals are nothing new in American culture.  In fact there is probably one happening as I'm writing this.  So when I hear about a politician having some sort of sex with a very young co-ed it really means very little to nothing to me.  Except for one small detail in the case of the Oregon Congressman.  (No it has nothing to do with it being my home state).  Rep. David Wu, 56, had consenting sex with an eighteen year old girl/woman/slut.  Which for his age is a very impressive accomplishment.  The problem I have is the honesty of it all.  See it is my humble opinion that if Mr. Wu was not a man of power he would have never had the chance to be with this young lady.  Don't believe me? Check out the article in the NY Times.  His pictures there.  Go look.  And after you look you tell me that this mans position didn't get him laid. 

I don't like to Winehouse, but Amy are you listening?

The death of Amy Winehouse, however tragic, can not really be categorized as a major shock.  A young woman who's career was initially based on thumbing her nose at addiction could have only ended up one way.  I'm sure the faithful Wine fans will blast me for this but she may have had it coming.  How many lines of Coke in the form of the Andes can you really do before the heart beats no more?  How many Fifths of liquor can you slam before the multi-system failure claims your 35 kg body? 

The truth is that Amy died much like she wanted to live; fast.  She came out of the womb full throttle and never slowed down.  As it was for the 27 Club alumni before her, it was her time. The lights went out for this bright star years before her full potential was reached.  Of course it would have been hard for her to top her Grammy winning night.  But how fun would have been to see her try. 

Then again maybe that night was the peak of the mountain and this was the abyss that laid at the base. 

In with the new girlfriend, out with the old Caddie.

Many of us seem to have trouble balancing a social life and a personal life.  We often find it necessary to sacrifice one to succeed at the other.  Tiger Woods seems to have this very same problem.  Upon acquiring a new girlfriend, one Alyse Lahti Johnston, he has chosen to fire his long time friend and Caddie Steve Williams. A man who gives him money making advice daily.  So it made me wonder, "what advice did he give Tiger about the new girlfriend?"

"Never play the back nine without permission." "Make sure you play it in the first cut."  "You might want to club up for that hole."  These things might have angered Woods.  Maybe he likes to hit the back nine first.  We have often seen him play his balls from deep ruff.  And I'm sure the deal breaker was when he was instructed to club up.  After all, you can only work with what God gave you. 

Prison may be key to living a long life.

I have heard a lot of inspiring stories come from prison.  People find god or Jesus there.  Some write books about the experience and reap the rewards.  Others earn a college education.  But for Nelson Mandela it was a little more than that.

After his long prison sentence he went on to inspire a whole nation.  He ranks up there with some of the great activists of all time.  So it just seems fitting that the people of South Africa would spend his 93rd birthday doing good things.  That the celebration of life would inspire so many people. 

The sad part for South Africa is that the rest of the year will be war torn, bloody, and dieing of infection.  At least Monday was a good day.

The worst possible scenario for a broken date.

Now I'm not going to go into a whole president bashing rant this morning.  He seems to have enough going on in his life that my adding to it is not a good idea.  The poor man is storming out of meetings, trying to balance the country, and being advised to skip out on his dates. 

The Dalai is in town for whatever monk business he may have in the states. So while he was here our president felt it would be a good time to sit and meet with him.  However the Chinese seem to feel that the meeting between these two is a bad idea.  So much in fact they strongly suggested Obama attending this meeting would jeopardize US-China relations. 

So what's it going to be man child Obama?  Are you going to understand the political implications of your actions for a change and not attend the meeting.  Or are you going to thumb your nose at foreign relations and have tea with the Lama.  Choose wisely. 

Okay, so its a slow day at The Rant.

Today seems to lack a real interest for me.  I really can't seem to wrap my head around anything that seems even remotely interesting.  Sure there is a guy who chopped up a young boy and put him in the freezer, scandal runs rampant in a news room in England, and a Glee member is fired on twitter.  But do any of these stories really have any street cred anymore? 

The frozen body in a guy's house has been done before.  Sure he added a little Chuck Manson in the mix with the whole "voices told me to do it" thing, but still played out.  A scandal never shocks me anymore.  In fact, you (meaning a corporation) want to shock me?  Run your business in a respectable and professional manner.  That will completely floor me.  Of course it will never make the papers.  And for those of you whom watch Glee you may want to stop reading.  Do I care that a cast member of a singing show has been dismissed over a tweet?  In a word, no.  For some these stories might be riveting but for me its just another Friday. 

Stand up, sit down, fight fight fight

I am the last person on Earth to tell someone they can't do something.  If a person has a dream they should spend every waking moment to achieve it.  They should work hard and reach for that final gold ring.  That is of course if they can actually reach.  Some times in life we are given bad five cards to play.  We can make the best hand we are dealt, but ultimately we might lose the game.  It is just how life is.  You can make lemonade from lemons.  Without sugar it is still super tart. 

In Omaha there happens to be one individual with a great dream.  A young junior wants to be a cheerleader.  She wants to stand-up beside her friends and cheer on her high school team to victory.  Who knows, she may even want to date the captain of the football team.  The problem is that she does not possess the required equipment for the job.  No I'm not implying she's ugly or fat.  I'm not even implying she lacks talent in rhyming words or cute little phrases.  She actually is missing four key components to being a successful cheerleader; a right arm, a left arm, a right leg, and a left leg.  That's right, she is a quad amputee.  Meaning that unless the football field has wheelchair access in the mud and snow, shes out of luck.

Now I know that parents out there want children to succeed and have equal opportunities.  I get it, I do.  But when this young lady applies for a lifeguard job at your child's pool you may think twice.  Or maybe when they strap her in to the cockpit of your next flight.  After all, she should get every chance that everyone else has. 

Gonorrhea II: This time it's personal.

Just when you thought it was safe to take a dip in your local co-ed.  It seems that all the rumors are true about the possible existence of a new Super Gonorrhea.  This latest antibiotic resistant strain is the result of mankind's unwillingness to finish anything.  It seems that those being treated never read the label of their medications. As the course of the infection ran the symptoms subsided.  This spurred many to stop taking the prescribed antibiotic before completion of the entire course.  As the bug become more use to half-ass treatment it became stronger. 

Now the Super "G" looks at the standard course of treatment and laughs its horrible little head.  Much like any good super villain in the sequel.  So for all you young college bound students here is your warning.  That sea of love has one huge shark swimming in it.  Let the feeding begin.

The Best Education You Can Get: Cheat To Win.

The modern job market is a horrible way to make a living. In fact, if you have a job in this country you are becoming a minority. So the desire to keep one's job becomes an obsession. Which poses the question, "how far would you go to keep your job?"

Educators have had a tough job from day one. The shaping of young minds is not an easy task. It requires time, energy, and passion to plant seeds of knowledge in soil that is unfertilized. Not one teacher on this planet does it for the money. Why? There isn't any money in providing education. Those that teach do it for the passion and love of teaching. Plain and simple it is there love.

As the need for regulation of everything has come to pass schools are no exception. The Government wants to make sure that teachers are teaching. This yardstick to measure success is the AIMS. A tool, or hatchet if your an instructor, that can weed out those teachers that are not making the grade. The problem is that your seed of knowledge you planted in that student may never, ever grow. In fact some soil is just void of any hope of growth. Blame genetics, the Internet, video games, or sugar puffs if you want but some children are stupid. They just will never develop the higher learning functions needed to pass a standardized test.

To blame this lack of possibility on the instructor that is trying hard to grow knowledge in a wasteland is ridiculous. So if teachers need to cheat to keep their jobs so be it. At least some of the students will get a real education on how the new American system works. Guess they did teach them something after all.

Only in America

This last weekend and on into Monday America celebrated independence. A yearly display of Chinese rockets to thumb our nose at British rule.

In 1776 a group of men felt that the laws set forth by the Crown were just to harsh. These men felt they could produce a more just set. Laws that would allow the men and women of the new world to be free of such strict guidance.

Fast forward to July 5th, 2011: the day the verdict to the Casey Anthony trial is read. The laws designed to abolish harsh penalties did just that. With damning evidence, such as a rotting corpse smell, this former mother is proven innocent. Lady justice can you lift your blindfold just this one time?

Drinking straight from the 2 liter.

I think it's funny how middle age men seem to be such a mystery. Their methods, logic, and unrelenting pursuit of the all night hard-on make for some uninspired life choices. But is it really that difficult to understand?

As our lives change so does the level of aspiration. We all need to feel better than the day before. A continuous pursuit to be great. In the case of man, this search is based in sexual worth. What was once Thor's hammer has now transpired into the rare occurrence of erections long since gone. Any purchases made or behavior exhibited has but one purpose; to regain those glory nights of younger years. To feel something other than self loathing as you reach into the fridge to drink right out of the two liter bottle. Hole filled T-Shirt optional of course.


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Let's get personal.

Being lonely can make someone question what is wrong with themselves. What things do I need to work on so that single is not my category for life. This process can make some people look deep into the psyche. Seeking out the root of the problem. This act might be assisted with booze as well which leads me to my point.

Personal ads are a collection of half truths. If we as a society were as good as stated in those ads the world would be perfect. Looks would be based on photos taken twenty years ago. Height and weight would be a completely acceptable lie. Sexual ability would be matched by no one. We would be perfect humans. That is, if personal ads were true.

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The confusion

I listen to women daily. Not in the blank stare, when is she going to shut up sort of way, actually listening. The common theme for most single women is the search for that one great man. A man that will fill their life with joy. It seems looks are not that important. He must be able to make them laugh, feel safe, and be honest. Just one good man is what they seek.

So I watch them interact with men that fill all of these predetermined requirements. They laugh and smile as they talk. The men are kind and respectful during the course of interaction. Some even bring little gifts to them. So I ask why not date them? The response is always the same, "their not my type.". Well forgive me for thinking they were exactly what your looking for.


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Is there any actual cheese in Cheez Whiz?

Cheese is a moldy byproduct of milk. It has become a process for which many spend their lives to perfect. They donate countless hours of time aging to that moment when mold and flavor collide. This can take years to accomplish. Many would say it is truly a craft, nay gift, to be able to achieve flavorful cheese.

This leads me to the question, “what the hell is Cheez Whiz??” It is yellowish orange like cheese. It can be spread on vegetables so children will eat them like cheese. It even has a slight hint of cheddar smell. But can we really call it cheese? Can the time and effort given to create cheese really be cheapened into a jar of Whiz? How can a cheese craftsman sleep at night knowing that this abomination exists in the world? Forgive us forefathers, we know not what we do, or eat.


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Living by the vendetta.

So I have been accused of a lot of things. From A-hole to yeti it seems my personality is always in the way. My biggest flaw would have to be inability to let things slide. Hearing every comment and reacting to it is just who I am. Which is not the true problem. Six months later I still remember something you said and I'm still hot about it. Letting go is not my thing. To this day my feelings are hurt from crap someone said twenty years ago. Why? Is it the only child issue? What was once a simple character trait has become so much more.


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New movie that will be a must see

Go to www.einsteinsgodmodel.com and check it out. You will love it.


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Why is WIC so famous?

I monitor the number of readers per post. Not for the vanity of it. Rather I want to see exactly what people enjoy reading about. I have created 204 posts (205 if you count this one). There have been posts about politics and celebrity's. Churches that have a drive up window and men that drive trucks with real balls have all been topics of mine. But those seem to have very little interest to most.

The post about WIC cheese and fake nails has had the most downloads, hits, or searches. So I wonder why? It really was just an observation in line at the grocery store late one evening. In fact it is almost two years old. Still, to this day, it is downloaded at least once a day. Why?

Midnight Coffee

So after a few sips of a fresh Java it hits me; It's Midnight. What the hell am I doing? I know that I have to work tomorrow. I just finished a very long day of work. Bed should be my primary concern. But for some unearthly reason I choose to brew a cup of fresh coffee. French roast from the Keurig. The brand is truly unimportant. The fact of the matter is that I have just sent my system into utter confusion. Is it time for bed? Time to wake up? What the hell is going on? So instead I will take a few moments to write down something insightful.

For all of you hopefuls wanting fifteen minutes of fame I have a great suggestion for you. Collect trash in side your home. It seems that if you are a complete slob you can be a star. There is a show called Hoarders that focuses on peoples ability to thrive within their own filth. In fact, the bigger the mess the better. People can apparently live with six inches of rabbit shit and not even care. How is this possible? If a dust bunny is on the floor my eye starts to twitch. Homes buried internally by enormous piles of trash should be burnt to the ground in the name of public safety. Plague anyone?

Written Truth

Sitting on my writing desk are three figures. Made of cheap plastic they stand a mere couple of inches in height. Historically these three men could almost be considered the new age wise men. Who are they? Well simply put they are Einstein, Freud, and William Shakespeare. Three guys that could really write. Not like the dribble I produce. But they might have just inspired me to reflect a little.
With a rocks glass of Jameson to my right and the boys to my left I write. But in a style I'm not really familiar with. Mine. Wrapping one's self up in a literal kaleidoscope can be detrimental. Finding the words to channel your inner Twain makes you a fraud. A self indulgent idiot trying to copy instead of create. I bring shame to the house of Clarke by my admittance of being just such a person. Writing was always something special to me. A way for me to convey deep original thoughts. Often my fear of judgement (and a certain lack of grammatical ability) forced me to write for acceptance.
I turned thirty five this month. This chronological mile stone seems to have sparked a new found self awareness. A rebirth of inner enlightenment. And lets face it, a whole new attitude. My "Blog" will no longer consist of the latest muff shot of Brittney. It will not address Trailer Park social dynamics. My writing will be life based. Real, pure, without influence of the masses. Whiskey influenced none the less, but not the masses.

Trick or Treat United States Treasury

So last night was Halloween. A night filled with little people knocking at the door asking for a hand out. As with tradition the handouts came without fail. They knocked/rang the bell and I openly handed out the candy without question. This process has been going on for some time. Being a holiday conformist it felt right. That is until this morning.

I started my day thinking about the “candy” process of Halloween. What if the candy was money? What if the individuals cloaked in deception were actually politicians? And what if I was the U.S. Treasury? They come to my door under false pretenses asking for something. Without further research into who or what they represent the candy comes flowing out. Every time someone comes, the candy leaves. By the end of the night all the candy was gone.

Now I could have gone to the store, aka China, and requisitioned more candy. I could have attempted to collect candy from those whom owe me candy. Heck I could have fired up the kitchen to start mass candy production. Instead my response to lack of candy was simple. Placing the bowl on the counter and turning out the light was my declaration of no more handouts. The individuals now had to search for other means to support their candy needs. The Treasury of this house closed up. It realized that when the candy is gone there is no more reaching into the bowl.

This simple economic principle can be applied to the downward spiraling debt. We owe candy to everyone and yet we keep the light on. People continue to reach in pulling handfuls of candy out. Our nation refills the bowl.

The 200th post.

A friend of mine emailed me the other day to inform me that I had not written a rant in some time. This lack of luster posting was in part do to a lack of overall commitment. But it also had to do with it being the 200Th post. My thoughts were that this one should have some sort of real meaning. As many of you know my writing can tend to be a little off color, all over the place, or just plain out there. After 199 posts you would think that my focus would be keen and my wit sharp.

So all I needed was a topic. Something that I could be fired up about that would make this post grand in nature. Nature? Why yes, I could write about nature. During the last few days the gulf oil spill has made me mad. Partially my anger is aimed toward big oil. The majority however is focused on scientists. Men whom have placed super computers in the palm of your hand. These geniuses seem to have all the answers. Well then riddle me this Batman, "why can't we make a good bird degreaser?" For all the times we have had man made disasters you would think such a creature exists. Instead we are using household dish soap. Science is focused too much on inventions that make millions of dollars when little pelicans need sludge removed from their undercarriage. So I challenge the future brains of America to come up with something that actually helps our planet and not your wallet.

Thanks to all of you who read my dribble and actually enjoy it.

A Great Easter Sunday

So here it is, Easter Sunday.  A time for families to gather and rejoice in love.  This Easter I am spending time with my father.  I’m not real sure how many more holidays are left for him and I.  So each one is special in its own way.  This day we will walk in his yard in Quartzsite and look at yard ornaments.  Ornaments that my mother painted in her healthy days.  We will talk about which ones will stay and which ones we will take with us.   Soon it will be time for us to find a location that best fits our needs.  His need to live with his son.  My need to work full time.  We will have to select and choose items that keep a little piece of her with us.  Items that, though worthless in money, are truly unable to be replaced.  That way when we live in our new house together we will have the whole family there.  Happy Easter to you and your family.  Wherever they are.

And again

So my first attempt at this mobile blog thing went horribly wrong. The first half went one way. The second another. So this time I am hoping for a much more coherent post. Of course, as evidenced in the past, that may not happen.

good cheer. Of course most of you know that it will be laced with disdain.

So I have decided to join the ranks of the modern world. I will now be posting on the go. With mobile rants my limited down time will be spent conveying joy and

Cold Confusion and TMZ

Okay so I may have learned my lesson when it comes to chatting/podcast with people when my head cold is overwhelming. In fact interaction with anyone during periods of fever and confusion should not be allowed period. I was listening to my podcast from yesterday and realized that I blasted John Kerry for having an affair. When in fact it was John Edwards. Of course at the time I thought I was being profound and well informed. When it turns out it was the ranting of a mad man. Of course that is the point of most of my writing/speaking anyways. I felt that I needed to clarify myself a little bit and for those of my friends that like to point out my short comings (Ty, love ya).

But I do stand behind my support of the impressive reputation that TMZ has created for itself. It seems that if it's entertainment news and it has not been confirmed by this source, well its just not true.

Keeping with tradition, for the second day

The tradition has held up so far. It is day two of the thirteen weeks and I'm up at the crack of dawn ready for my run. I'm all excited too. My energy level for the entire day was just unmeasurable. The tough part was eating. I know it would seem that a man of my size would find it easy to pack away food. But trying to focus on eating every couple of hours is really hard. The food was great in flavor, presentation, and overall fill factor. It was just hard to remind myself to actually eat every couple of hours. Not to mention I broke my 2.2 liter water bottle right off the bat yesterday morning. (long story) Anyways, I have continued today and I hope that it will keep going for the next twelve weeks, 6 days, 19 hours. Wow. When you break it up like that it seems like a really long time.

13 weeks from now

Today marks the start of a biggest loser competition at work. For the next 13 weeks it will be all celery and workouts. The true reward will not be the weekly prizes. It will not be the large some of money at the grand finale. It will be the joy of seeing my toes from a standing position. It will be the sound of those whispering just loud enough to hear, "man he looks good". It will be those nay Sayer's realizing that a motivated man and his running shoes are two unstoppable forces. But I do this not for myself.


I do this for those out there, like me, whom have given up. Those that believe the end has come and gone. That the carb war was loss from a stand point of numbers. After all, there are more of them than us.

God Bless the 9 to 5'er

I have realized that people that work Monday through Friday, 9-5, are truly blessed people. The get to see thier families in the morning before work. Have a sit down breakfast with them if they so choose. Leave for work with a full heart and stomach. Then they get to return home at a resonable hour to spend time with them yet again. Have dinner and tuck the little one's in bed. They enjoy the gift of work and family without ever realizing they have such a luxoury.

I work 15 hour days. After travel time and actual work time the total is just about fifteen hours. If you add that to the recommended 8 hours of sleep we are all suppose to get well that leaves me very little time to have a life. And if I do that five days a week then it's all over for the ever having a family thing. I guess living in a world where the time just doesn't make sense leaves you wanting more. But to those on the outside looking in it just appears that you are selfish with your time. When infact you have no time at all.

Thank God That's Over

Tis the season I guess. The week of Christmas is always a busy time for most people. Shopping, cooking, and herding families is a full time job during the silly season. For me this was no exception. With my hectic work schedule and bring down dad to enjoy time with me it was truly a no holds barred week. One for which I don't believe I will recover from anytime soon. In fact, it is actually spilling into this week as well.

I think we are conditioned from the age of six to have the end of the year as a time of rest. We lounge around with kin as we stuff ourselves with grandma's home cooking. The weather provides the perfect excuse for staying indoors and the television provides programing for both him and her. So it is very unnatural to work or not be apart of some sort of holiday goings on. A basic biological need to bring a year to a close. Next year I hope to change my work/family life so that I may actually enjoy the end. Of course that will take some doing on my part as well.

I'm confused, but just a little bit.

I guess there is this rule in the military that if your pregnant you have to leave a combat zone or forward area to return to the states. Okay. Makes sense to me. Your carrying a child and need direct medical care. A battle field might not be the best place for you or the baby. So the military sends the woman home. Now the man whom planted the seed has to stay and fight because, lets face it, his job is done. Now one last piece of info, the military does not allow abortions.

So a women's activist group is saying that this is unfair. That the men should be sent home as well, that the woman should be allowed to stay in combat, and that abortion should be an option. That the woman of the military are being treated unfairly. That some how, giving life and being sent out of the way of danger is an unacceptable plan. HUH? So you want woman to have the choice of carrying a child to term in some sand ditch a million miles away from home, while shooting a twenty pound rifle, and dodging car bombs. Or be allowed to kill some child just so that their military career can march forward. And my favorite part, send the men home that got them pregnant. Well let me tell you the odds of woman getting knocked up will increase by a factor of a hundred if that is the case. Who needs to shoot yourself in the foot when a shot in a better location doesn't hurt as much.

Cousin Eddy

Every Christmas I always want to watch one movie in particular; Christmas Vacation. The classic tale of a man trying to have a good old family Christmas with his "good old" family. The quiet dream of every man, I think, is to have that perfect holiday.

The problem usually lies in the fact that most of us have at least one Eddy. An Eddy is the relative that just missed the bus. He (or sometimes she) has a heart as big as the great outdoors. So big in fact that it covers his eyes to the whole world. He will ruin plans, destroy the house, upset the sleeping arrangements, eat the left over ham you wanted for breakfast, and just about everything else you can imagine. Eddy is the X-factor in most holiday gatherings. He might not be here yet or could be sitting in your living room at this very moment. Sucking back eggnog and picking his teeth with an ornament hook. Eddy is what makes most people want to never have a Christmas ever again. But that is what makes a family complete. Thus a Holiday season complete as well.

Questions

Have you ever been asked a question about yourself that just flat out stumps you? I mean something you have never really thought about until that moment when it slaps you right in the face. Recently I was asked what the worst thing about me was. Well there is a thought. Examine your worst flaw.

So I went to bed thinking what flaw/flaws do I really have. And I think I might have come up with the worst one. It's never about me. I know that sounds silly, but hear me out.

When I make choices in my life, good or bad, my concern is how it will effect others. How will their life benefit from what I am doing? This seems like the good moral and Christian thing to do but it actually is self destructive. I never do for me. My actions never have the goal of really giving me what I want. Oh sure my words/texts speak everyday of the things I would like to do. But do I ever really take charge and do them? My worst trait is that I have done for others so much in my life that I have no sense of "self". That my pleasing of others makes me who I am and if I am not allowed to do that I feel as if I am nothing. Now that's a flaw.

Arousal comes in many forms.

When you think of arousal your mind immediately goes to the last time you had that mind blowing feeling. You know the one I'm talking about. The last time you almost passed out as the blood ran from your head to your curling toes. As I slowly age I notice that more simple things arouse me. A good cigar, better scotch, and the occasional half price sale on clothes seem to please me just as much as physical satisfaction. The reward of giving myself some simple pleasures has become as equal to someone else giving me such joy. But is that because I'm maturing or the odds of me finding a great deal on jeans are much higher than having relations?

Common Sense Development

The development of common sense for most just seems to be unattainable. Most children should be taught to avoid certain things like open flames and riding in the back of trucks. It would stand to reason that as a person grew in to an adult these little pearls of wisdom would carry forward. That the idea of hanging out the back of a pickup truck bed would not only be unappealing but also never the source of one’s untimely demise. Yet it seems that a 26 year old football player from the Bengals did not learn that simple life saving lesson. Instead he chose to play around and fight in the back of moving vehicle costing him his life and three small children their father. Lets teach our future generations how to survive by not acting like idiots. Show them how dumb it looks to have your name in the paper associated with a stupid accident.

What it would take, seems not that much really.

Well as I am sure most of you can see I really have not written in some time. In fact the last time was weeks ago and some of you took offense to my desire to have crabs. So time needed to pass to allow the healing of my readers and to gain some sort of reprieve for my sick discretion's. So I took time to work and get out of the house a little bit. I still maintain the general morning rituals; working out, walking the dogs, and bathing. But my mind often thought of what I should write about. Was there anything that truly made me want to voice a world wide opinion. Then the news kept saying the same phrase day after day, "a new woman has stepped forward in the Tiger Woods affair". So how can I resist.

This might come as a surprise to most but to me it was just another day. Tiger Woods is a rich, black, young man in the modern world. He travels all over the world and meets lots of beautiful sexy women. So is it really that hard to believe that this rock star of the golf world allowed himself to be accessible to hooter's girls, strippers, porn stars, and the occasional model? If the news had broke that 50 Cent had cheated on his wife would you have had it on every news broadcast in America?

I blame golf. If Arnold Palmer would of had a few hundred million dollar endorsements and a few hundred women waking up in his bed on the road then this poor kid would not be going through such an ordeal.

Peanut butter, toe jam, and poo.

I figure dogs do not have fully functioning taste buds. Throughout a typical day, my dog seems to lick everything. Therefore, one day I realized something about his licking ecstasy. He never reacts in a negative way. No matter what material is placed in his mouth, joy fills him. Why is that? Why are dogs so grateful for everything from peanut butter to butt? In my life, I am sure I whine too much. I complain about how I feel or what food I eat. Sometimes the simple joy of just having something escapes me. Maybe I need a little toe jam.

Why Having the Crabs is not that bad.

You know, the crabs get a bad rap. Okay, I know your shaking your head in disbelief but let me finish. The crabs are annoying little bugs that like to find warm hairy parts of your body to move and live in. They scurry about your dark region in the hopes you will just let them live there in peace. However, due to their very offensive itch we find ways to make them go away. We might use simple techniques like shaving the ground cover they hide under or buying some sort of burning battery acid to kill them. Either way the need remove them from our lives is very great. In fact, the fear of ever seeing them again makes even the simplest trip to a public bathroom a true adventure.

I bring crabs to your attention for one reason. No, I do not have the little critters. Rather I am curious why we would banish a tiny bug that irritates us but we are willing to buy Sarah Palin's book. We are willing to support her, listen to her, and tolerate the itch she gives us. Why?

Chicken or Egg

Indubitably you have heard of the age old question, "which came first?" But when it comes down to it is to find out whom to blame for the current state of affairs. Take for example the economy. Everyone is so focused on trying to see where it all started and the find the responsible party so a true blame can be cast. Our lips first got a taste of blood when that Bernie guy got his. But was it enough to quench our thirst? Not really.

In the end, when someone poses the question "which came first" it is to entice you to pick a side. To choose which side you feel is more important for placing blame. For me it is very simple to assign blame to someone. Myself. If I really offered my country more support then maybe I wouldn't have fleeced America like everyone else. Think I'm alone? How many times have you prayed for a return on your taxes verses paying a little more to keep the lights on? Have you ever uttered the phrase "I got some of my money back" in speaking about said return? The truth is that when we all avoid helping out our nation it does at up. How would the debt look if we all paid five dollars more a month in taxes? Could you truly space sixty dollars a year to help out your country?

Gaining Strength By The Numbers

As I battle the lack of energy and the hope of a better tomorrow I took some time to reflect on my blog and podcast. I signed onto the Internet for the first time in while and for some sort of unexplained reason I choose to examine the numbers of viewers/down loaders of my "work". I call it that loosely because I never really deemed my words as anything more than cheap entertainment for the masses. My book sales actually set a mile stone for the sub-zero sales book of the month.

So after a month or so of not pod casting or blogging I figured that the numbers would reflect as such and the once lived dream of having a group of faithful readers would slowly burn out. The visions of Pulitzers dancing in my head would just have to be a mere reflection on a future death bed. But the truth lye within the numbers.

It seems that last week, my sites acquired subscribers. Subscribers? How is that possible? You have to be producing material in order to have subscribers right? Well it seems that there are still many out there whom desire to hear/read what is going on in that silly little mind of mine. So, with a cup of tea at my side, I return to the keyboard to begin the next chapter in what has become simply known as The Rant.

Thank You. All of You.

Work and Working Out Both Feels Good

The feeling of getting up in the morning and feeding the soul with a good work out is a mind blowing experience. Energy levels are through the roof. I even believe I can feel my hair grow. Okay, that might be stretching it a bit but you understand that these are all new sensations. Of course anything would feel better than sitting on the couch hearing your arteries harden. This feeling can only be matched by one other in my life.....

The return to work was a long time coming. But I am happy to report that I have once again joined the work force. Bill collectors go to hell, the money is coming.

Just Three A Week. How Hard Can That Be?

So in the pursuit of being thin I consulted a friend of mine who happens to be a chiseled work of art. In fact, he should be a model instead of a nurse. He offered a perfect math equation to help me reach my goal. Just lose three pounds a week for forty weeks. That seems simple enough right? Well it might not be that easy. See with the plateau effect after several big loses and the occasional carb splurge it might take a little more than 40 weeks. But with this new guidance comes new hope so lets give it a go. I think I will weigh in on Saturdays. Yeah, that is a good idea.

My New Friend

While visiting some of the other blogs on here I found a little gadget that tracks your progress in just about anything. You can follow your needs for getting pregnant, saving for your dream car, or even buying a new house. This powerful little stool pigeon keeps you on the straight and narrow by allowing the entire free world to monitor your progress. It is funny how our own discipline is never strong enough. Pushed by our peers is the only motivation to succeed. Well, why should I be any different? So the top of my blog shall have my new friend. I really don't have a name for him yet but one will come to me. He will track progress as I move toward the final goal. Of all the designs to choose from this one was a more man than most. Who knows, after my loss maybe my days of becoming a great football will be upon me. Of course, I really wasn't that good to begin with.

Forgiveness Can Be Habit Forming

I often wonder just how much we as humans can forgive. When someone commits a horrible murder do we not seek the death penalty? Is it not justice to wish horrible things on someone who wishes it on us? I wonder when the Christian ethic of loving thy brother for he knows not what he does ever took a nose dive. With the times increasingly going right down the old crapper it should be a time when we get behind those who may need a little help. A simple shoulder to lean on when the legs that normally hold us up get a bit weak would be nice. I think that deep down we have to forgive. We must look at those whom we love and cherish and understand that they are flawed. They contain errors that are substantial in the moment but have no value in the greater presence of self. We are human, errors or mistakes make us who we are. Great and small.

Fat Guy in Little Scrubs

So the battle of the bulge has finally forced me to make some changes. Apparently I have reached a point in my unhealthy life where the consumption of any extra salt in my diet forces my feet to swell up to a ridiculous size. How ridiculous you ask? Well let's just say an elephant walked by and asked where my toes were. So this new found, potentially deadly, condition makes me at risk of that whole heart attack thing. This condition makes it necessary to take immediate action.

The first step was to return to a better eating lifestyle. This might as well be a training program for space. I can't seem to understand why the hell I can't enjoy and eat the things I want. Second is the need to find some sort of physical activity. That includes but is not limited to a trip or two to the gym. Of course I love that feeling of being on display at the gym. You know that fat guy at the gym exhibit that thin people at the gym ogle. I almost feel that there should be some sort of music playing and me wearing that funny little monkey hat. But the time is now.

30 Rock? Really? 30 Rock?

I have to say that the list of best comedy series nominees for the Emmy's last night was a tough choice for me. Weeds, entourage, family guy, the office, 30 rock, and some others were all up for the award. The first three happen to be favorites of mine. The humor is funny yet edgy at times (minus family guy) and there is always a great back story to keep me wanting more. In fact these are some of the best shows on television since the days of MASH and all in the family. But are these the ones that win the award? Is the comic genius of these shows worthy of the Emmy? No. A star loaded show called 30 Rock wins. Okay, don't get me wrong. An okay show as it were, but really worth the Emmy? I wonder if humor has been lost in comedy. It would seem so.

Today was the second live show for the Rant. It was a great time. You can play it from here by clicking the blog talk radio button down on the right. Take a listen.

Hey, hope to hear you Monday

Live show on Monday, tune in at www.blogtalkradio.com. Also don't forget to download the podcasts at http://efclarkeii.podbean.com.

By Cracky I Think He’s Got It

With a great bolt of lightning from the sky I have figured out where all the money went in America. It took a little time for me to put my finger on it. But after much deliberation the verdict is in. The lack of funds freely available to Americans for such things as schools and health care can be attributed to studies. That is correct. The amount of money wasted on completely ridiculous studies is astronomical. The latest study to reveal and reinforce this statement took eight years in the making. That's right, from 1986 to 1994 people actually took surveys to see if the lack of health insurance would increase your chances of death. Did you understand what I just said? They actually spent money to collect data, process that data, and report the data that confirms that if you cannot afford medical treatment you are more likely to die. Let me ask why there is not a study on common sense? Why is it that people have lost the ability to just take the obvious at face value? I think money spenders need to have a study done on them.

Civil War II

I really can not believe that the next Civil War is right around the corner. It seems that the racism issue is getting ready to seek new highs. You would think that with the election of a black president, a black woman having the number one talk show, and the worlds leaders in sports all being black that equality would finally be met. However it seems that a huge outbreak of civil unrest is on the horizon. The movement for equality, like the war in the middle east, just does not have clear goals. Tell us what you want to be truly equal. Do you need to have your first choice of college education? Need money to attend school? Maybe special funding for housing? A voice in government? Millions of dollars in sports endorsements? What are the measures of equality?

Know Thy Self, Or At Least Someone

Independence is sometimes a double edged sword. On the one hand you have this great sense of self. A possession of deep accomplishment as you achieve your goals everyday in your life that make you great. You find pride in the self survival in an urban jungle that seems to consume more and more weaker souls. Pride in being able to survive. To supply the basics for yourself. To feel purposeful. These are all great reasons for keeping an independent spirit. But when is doing it for yourself not really enough to keep it going?

Often the deep need to help care for someone or provide for someone supersedes the need to give to yourself. This spark deep in our being keeps the humanity alive. Giving of yourself to make life better for another is both rewarding and, in some ways, self fulfilling. I realize now that work for me is this very thing. I have this deep dark desire to help or provide for someone. It makes me feel needed or desired in some seeded way. Not that I don't feel that my self worth is great. Just that the instant gratification of seeing someone comforted by my efforts makes my day. Ironically my need to help others might seem selfish in a very giving way. Odd.

Anger Management

It seems to be that there is a growing trend in the world today. Now you can blame it on the economy or the weather or even the times are a changing. Either way it seems that more people are exhibiting some very angry behavior. That West guy goes up on stage during a live show to protest that his favorite didn't win. A normally quiet tennis star explodes on a judge. A member of government openly calls the President of the United States a liar. Someone stuffs a beautiful college student into a basement wall. All of these things and many more like it have me wondering, what the hell? Is it really getting so bad that people can not just be civil anymore. Is the world so unhinged right now that it will take the second coming to turn things around? Get a hold of your self people. Take some ownership of your behavior and simply think before you speak. Remember, Christmas is coming.

Seasons

Sitting in my room watching sports I realized why society has gained such an unrealistic pace. The seasons have vanished. With baseball, football, basketball, and hockey all running together in one continuous sport soup there is a lack of definitive finish. Weather seems to be ever changing with the increase in heat running into late October early November. Halloween for me growing up was the first real cold time. You knew Christmas was coming. Stores had school supplies on sale at in August, Halloween costumes in late September, and Thanksgiving items in November. It was never this collection of all the holidays on sale starting in September. Last year I was getting ready for New Years and there was a Valentine display up. How can we have our biological clocks set to the correct time when our eyes keep telling us it's earlier then it actually is? And who started this retail mind game anyway? Were sales really lacking so much that the competition was to see who could sell it first? Christmas in July use to be just a saying of mine but I don't want to buy a tree on the Fourth of July.


The first live broadcast of the Rant this morning was an absolute bust. It seems that above everything else I can't tell time anymore. For those of you who actually tuned in and caught the last 15 minutes of the show thank you. And for the caller from Arizona, thank you so much. The next show is Monday the 21st and I hope it to be much better than this mess.

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We Go Live In 5...4...3...2...1....

Well its hard for me to believe but its true. The podcast for the rant is going to be a live show. Yes, you heard me. A live show. On Monday September 14th you can tune in to Blog Talk Radio and listen to the live show. We will be taking callers (the number is (347) 934-0489), having fun, as well as being broadcast over the waves. It should be a lot of fun. The show will air at 3:30 in the am. Why so early? Well it was the open time slot. As sponsors come in and the popularity grows I hope for a better slot. For those of you that read and listen to the rant please pass it on to all those you know.

Once again the rant goes live Monday September 14th. 3:30 AM. Call in and lets have some fun. Click the picture and it will take you directly to the site or you can go to http://www.blogtalkradio.com/. Just click the ON AIR Link at the top of the page and look for the rant.

Welcome to a Brand New Day

What motivates you? What inspires you to go out into the world and do great things? For myself it varies. For the most part I would have to say that movies and TV inspire me to do a lot of the things in my life. For example, working out is so much better watching GI Jane. I really do not know why. I lack a true desire to join the special forces and lack even more desire to join the military. Not saying that there is anything wrong with the military I just don't think it's for me. And as I watch the show and sweat I some how feel that my work out is way more intense then it actually is. Maybe that's it. Its a mind game with myself. Like those of you who run long distances with ear buds in. The music helps decrease the mental time you actually put into that 12 mile run.

I do often dream of being able to run long distances without death. It use to be that if you ran a mile everyday you were really doing something. Now if you bring up a mile to a true runner they wonder why you didn't finish your warm up. The average running distance keeps increasing yet my ability to run is ever decreasing. By the time I get up to an actual mile the average distance will be like 22 miles and my little mile will not even be acknowledged as a run. It will be a slow jog. Of course, as time marches on, my run might get up to five miles a day. Then at least I can tell people I only had time to warm up.

Creative Distractions

As I sit at the computer ready to compose my latest daily masterpiece a great conversation has started in my presence. For the most part it really doesn't have anything to do with me. But as with most nosey Americans interjection is a must. You see Tracker and Copper are having what I can only assume is a great debate on food. They are both offering what seems to be a very heated opinion as they take turns eating a mouth full of kibble. But Copper is a little more passionate then Tracker when it comes to expressing such views. He sits at the table across from me and continues to express his dismay as Tracker savors every bite. This exchange happens almost every morning and it often interferes with my writing. I mean, how can I just ignore such an exchange.

They seem to work out the details in the end. Both complete their breakfast and retire to opposite resting areas until the next poop break, a mere seven hours from now. This cycle is not that of life but rather two dogs whom have everything.

Nothing Good Comes From Tequila

I'm sure this blog is going to get blasted by so many women that I might not publish it.


Okay then again I wouldn't be me if I didn't say something about the assault on Tila Tequila by an NFL player. Sure there is always two stories to every story. And I will acknowledge that anytime a man or woman attacks someone it is very wrong. But when you change your name to Tequila aren't you looking for a little bit of trouble? I'm sure she was just sitting at home reading her bible but lets be just a little honest about this. She may have a little more involvement in this whole thing. Of course I could be wrong.


Also Jon Gosselin is going to blast his soon to be ex-wife Kate on national television. This could be very interesting. Some are going to say he is just complaining and he is painting an unreal picture of his wife to gain favor. But once again I'm going to have to believe that she is not as innocent as some would believe.

For those of you wanting to get married soon, see above.