Sep 16, 2009

Know Thy Self, Or At Least Someone

Independence is sometimes a double edged sword. On the one hand you have this great sense of self. A possession of deep accomplishment as you achieve your goals everyday in your life that make you great. You find pride in the self survival in an urban jungle that seems to consume more and more weaker souls. Pride in being able to survive. To supply the basics for yourself. To feel purposeful. These are all great reasons for keeping an independent spirit. But when is doing it for yourself not really enough to keep it going?

Often the deep need to help care for someone or provide for someone supersedes the need to give to yourself. This spark deep in our being keeps the humanity alive. Giving of yourself to make life better for another is both rewarding and, in some ways, self fulfilling. I realize now that work for me is this very thing. I have this deep dark desire to help or provide for someone. It makes me feel needed or desired in some seeded way. Not that I don't feel that my self worth is great. Just that the instant gratification of seeing someone comforted by my efforts makes my day. Ironically my need to help others might seem selfish in a very giving way. Odd.

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