Fat Guy in Little Scrubs

So the battle of the bulge has finally forced me to make some changes. Apparently I have reached a point in my unhealthy life where the consumption of any extra salt in my diet forces my feet to swell up to a ridiculous size. How ridiculous you ask? Well let's just say an elephant walked by and asked where my toes were. So this new found, potentially deadly, condition makes me at risk of that whole heart attack thing. This condition makes it necessary to take immediate action.

The first step was to return to a better eating lifestyle. This might as well be a training program for space. I can't seem to understand why the hell I can't enjoy and eat the things I want. Second is the need to find some sort of physical activity. That includes but is not limited to a trip or two to the gym. Of course I love that feeling of being on display at the gym. You know that fat guy at the gym exhibit that thin people at the gym ogle. I almost feel that there should be some sort of music playing and me wearing that funny little monkey hat. But the time is now.